A change in language

Since giving birth to Audrey, I feel that I have sought out the company of other mothers.  This is partly because these were the people that I felt myself surrounded by in my daily life after she was born.  But at the same time, they were the people that I also actively sought out because of that new shared connection.   Now as a mother to two small children living abroad, I am also finding myself drawn to other moms in my same situation - adjusting to a new life in a foreign country while raising little ones.

However my conversations with these moms are markedly different from the ones I had with other mothers in the US.  Usually the first question asked is "What brings you here?" which is subsequently followed by "How long are you here for?"  (Strangely this reminds me of a conversation two inmates might have upon first meeting).  So far, I have seen two distinct camps - those women who are married to French men and those who are the wives of Americans who have relocated their families for work.  Obviously, their answers are quite different.  For those who are here for their partners' jobs, the question about how long they will be staying is Strasbourg is usually answered by a number - usually ranging from 2 to 5 years.  For the others, it's the answer is much less definitive and often times they aren't even sure themselves!

Despite this clear divide in reasons for being in France, I have noted that our similarities seem stronger than our differences.  Everyone I've met so far has made a real attempt at fitting into life here - getting around town, learning the language and enjoying all the city has to offer.  Perhaps it is because Strasbourg is  pretty cool place to be and no matter what your reason for being here, most are able to just sit back and enjoy the scenery, culture and great food.  And our strongest similarity?  We are all mothers who NEED to navigate this new setting because of our little ones.  I have found that my conversations with these moms are now different from those I had with other mamas in Boston.  So far, I haven't heard any mention of sleep cycles or tantrums.  Instead it's all about our transitions here - which neighborhoods we now live in, driving concerns and just getting around.    In fact, there isn't a ton of conversation about the kids.  It's almost as if our transition is essential in ensuring the happiness and safety of our children.  It's a sort of hierarchy where our needs must be filled to be able to take care of those of the little ones. 

It is an interesting realization for me.  For once in the last 2.5 years, my conversations are more about me and less about my children.  I'm sure that things will gradually shift but for now I am enjoying the fact that my needs are intertwined with those of my children and that it's about our happiness.

Oh, and what kind of mother would I be if I didn't show off those kiddos...