A change in language

Since giving birth to Audrey, I feel that I have sought out the company of other mothers.  This is partly because these were the people that I felt myself surrounded by in my daily life after she was born.  But at the same time, they were the people that I also actively sought out because of that new shared connection.   Now as a mother to two small children living abroad, I am also finding myself drawn to other moms in my same situation - adjusting to a new life in a foreign country while raising little ones.

However my conversations with these moms are markedly different from the ones I had with other mothers in the US.  Usually the first question asked is "What brings you here?" which is subsequently followed by "How long are you here for?"  (Strangely this reminds me of a conversation two inmates might have upon first meeting).  So far, I have seen two distinct camps - those women who are married to French men and those who are the wives of Americans who have relocated their families for work.  Obviously, their answers are quite different.  For those who are here for their partners' jobs, the question about how long they will be staying is Strasbourg is usually answered by a number - usually ranging from 2 to 5 years.  For the others, it's the answer is much less definitive and often times they aren't even sure themselves!

Despite this clear divide in reasons for being in France, I have noted that our similarities seem stronger than our differences.  Everyone I've met so far has made a real attempt at fitting into life here - getting around town, learning the language and enjoying all the city has to offer.  Perhaps it is because Strasbourg is  pretty cool place to be and no matter what your reason for being here, most are able to just sit back and enjoy the scenery, culture and great food.  And our strongest similarity?  We are all mothers who NEED to navigate this new setting because of our little ones.  I have found that my conversations with these moms are now different from those I had with other mamas in Boston.  So far, I haven't heard any mention of sleep cycles or tantrums.  Instead it's all about our transitions here - which neighborhoods we now live in, driving concerns and just getting around.    In fact, there isn't a ton of conversation about the kids.  It's almost as if our transition is essential in ensuring the happiness and safety of our children.  It's a sort of hierarchy where our needs must be filled to be able to take care of those of the little ones. 

It is an interesting realization for me.  For once in the last 2.5 years, my conversations are more about me and less about my children.  I'm sure that things will gradually shift but for now I am enjoying the fact that my needs are intertwined with those of my children and that it's about our happiness.

Oh, and what kind of mother would I be if I didn't show off those kiddos...

You had me at "bonjour"

Okay - so I vowed when starting this blog it wouldn't be overloaded with posts about how things are so much better here in France.  Nor would it be a bunch of complaining about how much I miss things about the  US. I'd like to think it'll be a fairly balanced view of both cultures noting differences between the two.  However, this week France scored a win in my book.  It's all a matter of manners.

I was walking to the post office yesterday which is about a 10 minute walk.  A couple minutes into the walk, I pass a young girl who looked to be about 12 or so coming home for lunch from school.  As we pass, she makes eye contact with me and says "bonjour". I return the greeting and smile back.  As I continue on the short walk, I pass another girl, just about the same age.  She does exactly the same - looks me right me right in the eye as I pass here and gives me a sincere "bonjour".  I am pretty blown away.  Although I know that greetings are much more formal in France, the fact that two young adolescents showed such respect is pretty cool.  And it's not like their parents were standing right next to them.  If they had walked right past me without saying anything, no one one have known.  But there is something with the way they have been raised and cultural expectations that has made this an automatic reaction for them.

If anything, I'm used that uncomfortable feeling of not knowing if you should make eye contact or not as you pass someone.  You sort of wait until the very last minute trying to see what the other person will do. Even if eye contact is made, rarely is anything said. It's a much different feeling.  Of course, part of this is that we are living in a smallish town where the pace is a bit slower than in a larger city.  Nevertheless, I am grateful that this is a custom that my kids will see on a daily basis here.
     
It made me think about how I'd want Audrey and Thomas to interact with others as they get older.  In fact, this has been quite notable over the past couple months.  In France, a kiss on each cheek is customary for women as a greeting.  This goes for children as well.  So Audrey has been expected to give kisses to adults (family and good friends) which I could see really had her off guard at first. It's definitely nothing she would have done in the states. As a 2 year old, she can sometimes refuse to do things that she is asked and I have found myself  insisting that she begins to adhere to these cultural norms out of respect.  It's a fine balance - respecting her comfort with this new custom and the cultural expectation.  Over the past 7 weeks, I have noted that she's starting to pick up on the kiss - sometimes now doing it without the nudge we had to give before.  What keep me insisting is knowing that in 10 years, I want her to be that young girl greeting a woman on her way to the post office.

Okay France - you won me over on this one.  But make no mistake, I have a couple of complaints already.  Like finding a decent box of cereal.  Okay, I know this is the dietitian in me but the amount of refined carbohydrates is a typical breakfast meal is hard to swallow (literally!). But that's a whole other post altogether.

One final note - today WAS Audrey's first day at "school".  After 4 days of an adaptation regimen, she officially became the newest child at the garderie in La Wantzenau. Thanks to her dad who made a bunch of in-person visits to various agencies to move the very slow process along.  Luckily she's loving every minute of it.

Round one - American apple pie vs. Tarte aux pommes à l'Alsacienne

A couple people seemed interested in the cooking/recipes subject so I thought I'd talk a little about Alsatian cuisine.  Not the lightest of fare, I'll give them that.  The German influence is pretty evident - dozens of types of sausages (saucisses) and big on sauerkraut (choucroute).  In addition, there are a bunch of regional specialties that I will highlight later including spaetzle, flammkuchen and kugelhopf- all a mouthful to pronounce and each well-deserving their own dedicated blog post (which I promise to do).  For now though - the classic Alsatian apple tart.

The distinctions between American and French cooking are easily seen when comparing an American apple pie with an Alsatian apple tart.   When going the Alsatian route, the word "precision" comes to mind.  While the American apple pie is a heaping mound of apples, cinnamon and a little sugar, the Alsatian version  is sort of the Type A cousin, taking a more precise and orderly take on things.

Apples are meticulously arranged in a single row...

...and then a custard is prepared and poured over the apples...

And then baked until browned...

Interested in trying it out?? Here's the recipe from www.marmiton.fr (http://www.marmiton.org/recettes/recette_tarte-aux-pommes-a-l-alsacienne_11457.aspx)
Temps de préparation (Prep time) : 25 minutes
Temps de cuisson (Cooking time) : 30 minutes


Ingrédients (6 Portions) :

- 3 ou 4 pommes (selon la grosseur) (3 or 4 apples, depending on size)
- 1 pâte brisée (one unbaked premade crust - even the French cheat on this one!)
- 2 oeufs (2 eggs)
- 25 cl de crème fraîche (8.5 ounces light cream will work- not the exact same but real crème fraîche is hard to find in the US)
- 100 g de sucre en poudre (~1/2 cup granulated sugar)
- 1 sachet de sucre vanillé (2 tsp of vanilla infused sugar but can be replaced with 2 tsp sugar plus dash of vanilla extract)


Posez sur un fond de moule à tarte une pâte brisée que vous trouez avec une fourchette. (Place unbaked premade pie crust in a round baking dish and pierce the dough well with a fork)

Pelez et coupez les pommes en fines tranches que vous disposer sur le fond de tarte.
(Peel and cut the apple in thin slices and arrange them on the on the crust)

Dans un saladier, mélangez le sucre, la crème fraîche, les oeufs, le sucre vanillé; versez le tout sur les pommes.
(In a bowl, mix the sugar, cream, eggs and vanilla sugar; pour the mixture over the apples)

Enfournez au four préchauffé à 200°C (th 6-7), jusqu'à ce que la tarte prenne une belle couleur dorée.
(Put it into a preheated oven (390 degrees) until the tarte takes on a nice golden color - it'll be about 30 minutes)

Enjoy!

The power of stuffed tomatoes

It's been a pretty busy week.  We've been running around like crazy trying to get all our paperwork in order.  Health coverage and my permanent resident card have been the two biggies and it now seems that we are incredibly close to having Audrey start "school" next week.  After a long week of running around town, the four of us spent a relaxing afternoon at Jean's family's lake house, about a 15 minute drive.  A great end to a busy week.

With all of this craziness, its been hard to dedicate time to cooking.  However, this last week I think we made more home cooked meals than in the entire month we've been here.  What's the difference?  Last weekend we acquired a massive quantity of garden vegetables from a neighbor.  I mean REALLY massive.  More than 10 pounds of tomatoes, 5 huge eggplants, a bunch of beets and a zucchini and a summer squash at least a foot long each.  Now if that's not motivation to get some food on the table I don't know what is.  I was able to make a beet salad, ratatouille and stuffed veggies while only using about half of what we were given.

On a related note, my mother-in-law (an incredible cook) stopped over unannounced late Wednesday afternoon to borrow the car.  It couldn't have worked out better that I was just about to make stuffed tomatoes and eggplants.  So, I very happily invited her to stay.  At dinner, she asked if I cooked like this EVERY night.  While I would have loved to have achieved elite daughter-in-law status, I admitted the night before I slaved over a frozen ready-prepared skillet meal.  I got a nice smile out of her.  Then while cleaning up after the meal, she said to Audrey, "You are lucky to have a mom who is such a great cook".  I pretended not to hear the comment although the grin on my face might have given it away.  French mother in law states out loud (albeit to a 2 year old) that I am a great cook...mission accomplished!  Up next, solving the European debt crisis. That'll have to start Monday - I'm taking the weekend off!